Until you were gone
by inge-loves-lost
Summary: ConMama story... With some crazy stuff like a beauty pageant... Sawyer and Claire become friends... And more... Based on a challenge...
1. Part one till 9

Anyway, I had an idea for a ConMama fic. What if, earlier in the season, Claire and Sawyer had formed a sort of...friendship. Like Claire ends up having a late night chats with Sawyer on the beach when neither of them can sleep. Maybe the friendship starts in White Rabbit after Claire collapses and move forward from there. They begin to have feelings for each other and Claire admits it to herself fairly quickly but Sawyer doesn't realize it until she gets kidnapped. He is very upset when she comes back and doesn't remember anything and they sort of have to start their relationship over again.

Must-have: 

- Sticking to the general storyline  
- Sawyer hurting while Claire is gone  
- Sawyer helping search for Claire  
- Sawyer reading (and keeping) Claire's diary  
- Protective/jealous/semi-possessive Sawyer  
- Some good Shayid scenes  
- Sawyer not going on the raft  
- The whole Aaron kidnapping still happening  
- A happy ending

Until you were gone, ConMama

Chapter 1: Mister Craphole

She woke up dizzy, and it felt like the whole world was upside down. She opened her eyes and looked around. She was in the tent where the marshal used to be. How did she get there? What happened to her?

Charlie walked in the tent. "I'm glad you're awake Claire," he said. " We were getting bloody worried." Typical Charlie, she thought. He used the word bloody more than anyone she had ever known. But then she realized something. He said "we". So, who else was worried?

She was stunned when Sawyer walked in. He was worried? She would have guessed Kate, or Sayid maybe. But Sawyer? Pretty weird.

"Well hallo mamacita," he said. "You're awake, I see. Dreamed of me when you were sleeping?" She sighed. Leave it up to Sawyer to make a comment like that. "I'll take the silence as a yes then." He sat down next to her, and gave her some water. "Easy, not too much at a time… There's not much left." She sat straight up when he said that, and was rewarded with a terrible headache. "Ouch, my head."

He looked at her, checking if she was ok. "How's the smurf doing?" The smurf, she thought. Oh, he probably meant the baby. She chuckled, thinking of her baby as a smurf. Then she went on with more serious stuff. "I guess he's alright. But what did you say about the water? Not much left? What do you mean with that?"

He sighed. He had wanted to lead her attention away from that point, by asking about the smurf. Now he had to tell her. Why couldn't Jackass do it, he thought. He'd probably do much better. "Sawyer, don't think you can't tell me this. I want to know." She was going to be a great mom. She's already bossy enough. "Sawyer," she said with an angry look on her face. "Okay, okay, I'll tell ya. The water was stolen while you were asleep. Jackass and Freckles are looking for water. And the big hunter and your has-been friend are going with them. So, they had me watching you." Claire smiled when she saw the look on his face. "That's probably the worst thing that ever happened to you here." Sawyer chuckled, and the fake self-pity look that was on his face disappeared. "Ok, you got me on that one, Miss Craphole Island." He really made her laugh, Claire thought. He wasn't always an asshole. "Then you're Mister Craphole Island." Sawyer stood up and walked to the other side of the tent, while he pretended to be walking on a catwalk. Claire whistled on her fingers. Sawyer turned to face her again. "Alright, I confess. This is my secret obsession. Every time no one is looking at me, I do this. Please don't tell." And he fell on his knees.

This time, Claire really cracked up. She laughed so hard, she felt it in her stomach. "Sawyer, stop please." She giggled.

Then Shannon walked into the tent. She was really surprised with what she saw. Sawyer on his knees, and Claire, laughing so hard she was crying at the same time. They didn't even notice her, she thought. Shannon could leave then.

At the second she was walking away, Sawyer noticed her. "Hiya Sticks. What'cha doing here?" Shannon sighed. She couldn't leave without explaining. "Sayid asked me to watch Claire. So, here I am. But I see you guys are busy, so I'm leaving." Sawyer was in her way, so she walked past him. "Hey Malibu Barbie? Why did Aladdin ask you? He already asked me."

Shannon sighed again. "My name is Shannon, not Barbie. And it's Sayid, not Aladdin. And I don't know why he asked. I came because Boone was annoying me, and this was my chance to get away. Anyway, I'm out of here." And Shannon finally walked away.

"She does look like a Barbie to me," Sawyer said. Claire tried to hide her laugh. "See, you think so too." She failed hiding now. "Stop it Sawyer."

And he actually stopped. "Some water? Then I'll help ya up." Claire nodded, as he gave her the last bit of the water. Then he helped her up. She was still dizzy, but as long as he held her, she wouldn't fall. Oh no, now she sounded like a cheap romance novel.

They heard noises. "Sawyer, I want to go outside." He helped her.

The sun was really bright in her eyes, so she held a hand above them. Then she saw Jin. He had the cuffs on him that used to belong to the Marshal. "Sawyer, what's wrong with Jin?" He followed her gaze. "With Jackie Chan? Well, pretty weird. He jumped Michael, al of a sudden. Tried to choke him. Me and Ali had to pull him off and cuff him." Claire couldn't say she wasn't amazed. "Michael did nothing? Jin just did that?" Sawyer rethought the event. "Nope, Michael didn't do anything. Neither did Tattoo or Lassie." Claire shrugged her shoulders, placing this as an other curious event on the island. She knew there had been enough.

Chapter 2: Preparing The Pageant

She couldn't sleep. Claire didn't knew what it was, she just couldn't. She got away from her temporary shelter and wandered the beach.

Then she saw Sawyer. He was sitting down, a few yards from the signal fire. He had a piece of paper in his hand. He was reading the paper, that looked like a letter.

"Hey, mister Craphole, where's your tiara," she asked. He looked up, and quickly put his letter away, back in his pocket, where it belonged. Claire noticed it, but decided not to ask anything about it. If he wanted to tell, he would.

"You haven't gave me a tiara," he said, trying to look angry.

"I'll make you one then," Claire answered, laughing.

"But wait a minute, we didn't actually do a pageant. We should do one." Claire cracked up. She was imagining the contest. Jack, Sayid, Charlie, Boone and Hurley walking the catwalk. And she almost forgot Locke. She could just imagine him in a pink dress, pleading for world peace, just like all of the other models. And Jin would compete too. And maybe Michael and Walt. She really wanted to be a judge in that contest. And she was sure that Sawyer would win.

"Okay, we'll do one. The guys are the models. I'll be a judge. Maybe Kate and Shannon want to help me." She looked around, and saw that Kate was up too. She walked to her.

"Kate, can you help me?" Kate looked up to her, and saw that Sawyer was watching them.

"What's up Claire," she asked.

"Well, Sawyer and I had this really crazy idea. A mister Craphole Island pageant. It started out as a joke, but I'd love to judge that. And I was wondering if you'd join me?" Kate was stunned at first, but then she started laughing.

"I'll help you, but we have to do a bathing suit round then." They started giggling, while Sawyer was still looking at them. He didn't believe that Claire asked it. She probably asked something else.

"Deal. And Shannon must be a judge too." They shook hands, and walked to Sawyer.

"What are you two doing," he asked.

"We're preparing a beauty pageant," Claire answered. "I really hope you brought a bathing suit or something, cause we're doing that too." Sawyer's jaw dropped. He had thought it was a joke. But they were actually going to do it.

"Don't worry Sawyer, we'll help you with your clothes. You're going to do really well." They were really serious about it.

"Don't even think about it. I'm not entering a beauty pageant." Claire smiled. She'd talk him into it. She knew exactly how to do that.

"Come on Sawyer. You told me about that obsession of yours. You don't have to hide anymore, you can enter. And I bet you'll win. If we help you, you'll be much better then Jack." When she said that, she knew he'd want to enter. He always wanted to be better then Jack.

"Alright then Mamacita, I'll enter." Claire and Kate did a high-five.

"Now we have to convince Shannon to be a judge, and the rest of the guys to compete. I just know we're going to have so much fun." Sawyer and Claire walked away from Kate, back to the signal fire.

"You're going down," he said.

"I think I'm going to sleep." Claire walked to her shelter.

"Pansy! Just wait until tomorrow," Sawyer threatened. Claire just laughed and went into her shelter. She spent a while thinking about Sawyer. His humor, his character, and his really cute dimples of course. She actually thought that? Then she spent a while trying to figure out why she thought that. Claire's last thought was that she couldn't wait for the next morning.

Chapter 3: Finding Contestants

Claire was happy, as soon as she woke up. She was starting the pageant today! She was really looking forward to it. Anything including Sawyer in a bathing suit would be hot. Oh no, she did not just think that. Blame it on the hormones, she thought. Must be the pregnancy thing.

She got out of her tent. Maybe she could find some guys, and convince them to enter. Or convince Shannon to be a judge. Cause she really needed this to happen soon. Not just the Sawyer-in-a-bathing-suit part, but the whole thing.

Shannon was already awake, she heard. She was already fighting Boone about something. Probably her outfit, cause she heard bits and pieces of the conversation. Boone was clearly upset about Shannon's skirt, and Shannon thought he was overprotective. She walked to them, while they were still fighting.

"It's not too short," Shannon screamed. Then she noticed Claire. "Oh, sorry. Just talking to my really irritating brother." Claire smiled.

"It doesn't matter Shannon. I just need you and Boone for something. Something I set up. Kate promised to help already. Sawyer said he'd join. What about you two?" Shannon and Boone both looked pretty confused. They really didn't knew what Claire was talking about.

"You haven't heard yet? I'm having a Mister Craphole Island pageant." Two jaws dropped. "I need Shannon as a judge, and I need Boone to join." Now both of them were really stunned.

Suddenly, Boone remembered something.

"You said Sawyer promised to join already. He's in the pageant?" Boone chuckled. This had to be a really stupid joke or something. Sawyer would never do such a thing. He'd probably consider himself way too 'macho' for that.

"Yes, he's in. Promised me yesterday. Kate's a judge by the way." Shannon cracked up with the image of Sawyer wearing a tiara. Or Sayid, with nothing but a… Okay, she shouldn't go there. Sayid was hot, but… Claire interrupted her thoughts.

"So, you're both in? I really hope so, cause it would be so much fun," she said, with a big smile on her face. "Please?"

Shannon considered it one last time, before she gave her answer.

"Of course I'll help you. Judging hot men in a bathing suit! I'm in! And Boone is too." Claire smiled at Shannon's statement, and then again when she saw Boone's face.

"Shannon, did you tell Boone he's in yet," she asked giggling. Shannon looked at him. He looked like he was going to be sick any minute.

"Come on Boone, I know you want to." Claire and Shannon laughed, while Boone sighed heavily, like this was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

"Alright, I'll do it then." The girls cheered. Claire clapped her hands, and felt the baby kicking. I guess he approves too, she thought, and giggled.

"Ok, you'll hear more when I know more," she said.

She was walking away already, when Shannon spoke. "Let me help you convince everyone else… Who will we see first? Jack, Charlie, Sayid?" Shannon was really interested.

"Let's do Jin first. Do you know what 'mister Craphole Island Pageant' is in Korean?" Boone started laughing first, but Claire was definitely the loudest.

"Ok Shannon, let's go." The girls wandered the beach together, looking for their next victim when they saw Charlie. Shannon ran to him.

"Charlie," she said breathlessly. "Will you join the Mister Craphole Island pageant? We really need more contestants." Charlie actually looked happy after that question. He could finally show his talents to everyone.

"Of course I will. Do you have a talent round? You know, where everyone shows their talent. Cause that would be bloody brilliant." Claire thought it really wasn't a good idea, she knew almost no one liked Charlie's singing. She looked to Shannon, and the two of them shared a knowing look. Should they tell him? Crush his dream? Or lay him off gently? They chose the last option, the less painful one.

"We don't have one Charlie," Claire told him. "We're just doing the catwalk, the interview and the bathing suit round." He looked a tad disappointed, but then smiled.

"It's okay, I'll enter anyway. A pageant, bloody brilliant idea," he muttered while walking away. The girls laughed.

"Come on," Shannon said. "On to our next victim."

Chapter 4: Contestants and dress shopping

After hours of pleading and convincing, Claire and Shannon got themselves 5 contestants. Sawyer, Boone, Charlie, Jack and Sayid. They just couldn't get Locke or Hurley in. Hurley was worried about his weight, and Locke clearly thought it wasn't important enough. It didn't matter anyway. It was not like she wanted to see one of them in a bathing suit. That would just be really disgusting.

Claire checked the contestants list again. Boone Carlyle, Charlie Pace, Jack Shephard, Sayid Jarrah, Sawyer… What would Sawyer's name be, she wondered.

Claire wanted to know, so she went to look for him. She'd been on an island with him for a week now, and she still didn't knew his name. There he was…

"Sawyer! I need to talk to you." He looked around. Where was she? He thought he heard her say his name. Then he saw her.

"What is it, Blondie," he asked.

"I need to know you're name. It's for the pageant, for the contestants list. It looks pretty weird when it just says Sawyer. And I can't fill in Sawyer Sawyer, cause that would be pretty stupid. And… I'm sorry, I'm really rambling. So, what's your name?" She caught her breath again. She really had been rambling.

"It's James," he said.

"James what?" Cause Sawyer was probably just a silly nickname.

"Just James," Sawyer answered.

Claire wanted to ask more, but then she saw the look in his eyes. She wouldn't ask more. Maybe it had to do something with that peace of paper in his pocket.

"Okay, James Sawyer it is then… You bought your dress yet?" She smiled at him, hoping to make the pain go away by making a joke.

"No, I haven't," Sawyer answered. "I was hoping you'd go shopping with me." There was that smile again. That cute smile, with the cute dimples. She had always secretly liked men with dimples.

"Blondie, you still there?" That interrupted her thoughts.

"Still here. But sure, I'll go shopping with you. Where do you want to go? Harrods, The Gap, Gucci, Prada?" She smiled, thinking of a mall on the island.

"Actually I was thinking Dolce & Gabana, Versace or maybe Armani." His dimples showed again, when Sawyer smiled.

"You really have expensive taste," Claire joked.

They were just talking and smiling, when they saw Charlie running in their direction. He ran so hard, he wasn't able to stop in time. He bumped right in to Sawyer.

"Jack… He's trapped in a cave-in. Where is Kate," Charlie said breathlessly.

"In the jungle, with Ali. But what a shame mamacita, looks like the pageant is off for now. And I was really looking forward to it… Don't worry 'bout Freckles, I'll get her for you." And Sawyer ran off in the jungle, leaving Charlie with Claire.

"Charlie, you should really get back there. You can help them." And Charlie ran off too. Claire was alone with her baby.

It wasn't until later, when Sawyer came back with the announcement "that Jackass was okay cause the has been saved him", that she felt okay again. Relieved, cause everything was alright. Especially with Sawyer. But why was she worried about him? She didn't knew, and thought it was best to focus on something else right now. The pageant.

They had to do it this evening, Claire thought. Or else it wouldn't happen at all.

Chapter 5: The pageant

As soon as Claire got everyone together, she started to organize the pageant. She made a place for the judges, as Shannon and Kate improvised a catwalk. That took a while, and they almost gave up, but then the girls just made one in the sand.

"Come on, that'll do Claire," Shannon said. "We should really start now." Cause it was already getting pretty dark.

Claire coughed. "Welcome everyone, to the first Mister Craphole Island pageant." The crowd cheered, while Claire continued. "We have 5 contestants tonight. Who will win the title? Let's find out… Our first contestant… You may know him as the bass player of Driveshaft… Here's Charlie Pace!" The cheers weren't that loud. But Charlie walked down the catwalk like he had done it a million times before. Which could be true.

Suddenly, Claire noticed something. There was something different about Charlie, something she had not noticed before. She just couldn't place it. Fortunately, Kate could.

"Where did he get the eyeliner," she asked. Then Claire saw it. Charlie was actually wearing eyeliner. And a lot too.

"You know, he borrowed mine," Shannon confessed. "He just came by and asked me. I didn't knew what it was for. Now I wish I never said yes." The girls totally cracked up after that, picturing Charlie begging for Shannon's eyeliner.

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, that was Charlie." Everyone clapped, just happy he was going and his part would be done for now. "Our second contestant. Please welcome Boone Carlyle." Now the crowd cheered pretty loud. You could see on Charlie's face he wasn't so happy with that. But Boone liked it, as he walked the catwalk with his pretty smile.

Then suddenly, Boone fell. Flat on his face. Nobody knew what happened exactly. Claire did. She saw Charlie tripping Boone. And to tell by the look on Charlie's face, he was quite happy about what he did.

"Charlie," Claire screamed. Everything was suddenly quiet. They all wanted to know what was going on, what did Charlie do?

"What," Charlie asked. "What did I do?" He looked all innocent now, but Claire knew better.

"I saw you trip Boone, Charlie. One more thing like that, and you're out of the contest!" She was angry. This pageant was supposed to be all happy, and she couldn't let Charlie ruin that.

Claire spoke again. "Give a big applause to Boone!" Everyone cheered again, and Boone did that smile again, showing he was ok.

"And now, our third contestant: James Sawyer!" You could really hear everyone was surprised by Claire's use of the name 'James' for Sawyer. But then they all looked at Sawyer, and cheered. Cause he was looking pretty hot. Claire couldn't wait for the bathing suit part. Just think about how Sawyer will look like that… Hot!

"A big applause to Sawyer," Claire said. Cheers followed.

"And welcome Sayid, our fourth contestant." Shannon cheered really loud. Claire and Kate looked at her.

"What? Can't judges cheer? He's hot, with a sexy foreign accent. Definitely has a chance." The girls smiled, as Sayid walked the catwalk. You couldn't see he never did something like this before.

"A big applause for Sayid." As the applause came and ended, Claire announced Jack.

"Ladies and gentlemen, our last contestant. Everyone's favorite doctor, Jack Shephard." Everyone cheered, except for, of course, Sawyer. But Kate cheered really loud.

"Are you checking me out," Jack responded. Kate blushed.

Claire spoke again. "Well, that was our last contestant. Give him an applause!" Kate cheered again, as did everyone else.

Claire continued. "Please stay seated, as we give the contestants some time to change into their bathing suits. I promise, you wouldn't want to miss it." The crowd started to talk, and taking peeks in between, to see if there was something out there yet.

And then, after ten minutes of waiting impatiently, Charlie was there. Now that's an anti-climax, Claire thought. Everyone was looking away. The girls thought it probably couldn't get any worse. But then, it got worse. Charlie began to sing.

"You all everybody, you all ever…" He was dragged away by Michael and Jin, who were trying their best not to look at Charlie. And they actually worked together, for the first time. This could be the beginning of a friendship.

"And our next contestant, Boone Carlyle," Claire went on, pretending like nothing happened. Kate sighed.

"Don't you think he's hot Shannon," she asked.

"He's my brother," Shannon answered.

"So?" And then Shannon was quiet. Boone left, and Sawyer was the next contestant. Now everyone was really waiting impatiently. Then Sawyer walked on the catwalk.

In his normal clothes. "Come on…," Claire said. "Sawyer, it's the bathing suit round. Wear a bathing suit." She was really disappointed.

"I am wearing a bathing suit," Sawyer said. Just when she wanted to ask him to show it, he was starting to undress. Sawyer planned a striptease. Shannon was the first who sang.

"I'm to sexy for my shirt…" Then Claire and Kate joined. The three of them sang: "Too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" while Sawyer was still undressing. The girls could barely sing, because they were laughing so hard.

Finally, he was in his bathing suit. Claire gasped. He was hot! She whistled on her fingers.

"That's it. He's mine! Just kidding…" Shannon laughed.

"Yeah right," Kate said. Claire's face turned red, as Shannon and Kate started to laugh.

"Thank you Sawyer. Now our next contestant: Sayid!" Sayid walked the catwalk, in his bathing suit. Shannon was obviously staring at him. Claire saw that, and giggled.

"Shannon! Earth to Shannon? You with us?" Claire tapped her on the shoulder.

Shannon suddenly woke up from her daydream, which included Sayid in a bathing suit. She saw Kate and Claire looking at her and blushed.

"And now our last contestant: Jack Shephard!" The crowd cheered. But before Jack could enter the catwalk, Charlie entered it. Still in his bathing suit. He started to sing again: "Hit the road Jack. And don't you come ba…" He was dragged away again. The girls just looked at each other and cracked up, while Jack walked the catwalk.

"Thank you, all of our contestants, and of course our audience. We will retreat to discuss the winners. Oh, and by the way, Charlie, you're disqualified."

And the judges retreated. The choosing wasn't difficult. In fact, it was pretty easy. So, a few minutes later, they returned.

"Can I have your attention? Okay, let's start then. Third place goes to… everyone's favorite doctor: Jack Shephard!" The crowd cheered, as Kate walked to Jack and gave him a hug.

"Congratulations Jack." Claire cleared her throat to get the attention from everybody.

"And second place goes to… Sayid." This time it was Shannon's turn.

"Congratulations Sayid." She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"The winner is… everyone's favorite outlaw… Sawyer!" The crowd went crazy. Claire's turn. She walked to Sawyer.

"Congratulations James," she said. "You won!" He smiled at her.

"I ain't getting some action? Ali gets kissed, Jackass gets a hug, and I ain't getting any?" Claire blushed. Sawyer smiled.

"Ok, you'll get your kiss…," she said. He leaned in to kiss her. She pushed him away. "…when my big belly is no longer in the way." Sawyer looked slightly disappointed, but he agreed.

"Okay everyone, show's over… Mamacita will give me the kiss later." As the crowd slowly walked away, Sawyer kissed Claire on the forehead.

"I'll hold you to that one," he said.

Chapter 6: Trouble in Paradise

Claire woke up with a smile on her face. Yesterday had been so beautiful, she thought. But as always, happiness doesn't last for long.

She saw Shannon, having difficulties to breathe. There was nothing wrong yesterday, so what could've happened to her? Some tropical disease or something? She had to know what was going on. Just because she was pregnant, she could still help!

She tried to get to Shannon as soon as possible.

"Boone, what's wrong with her? Her breathing sounds terrible." He looked at her, not sure if he would tell her. Shannon always wanted to keep it a secret.

"Shannon has asthma. And there's no more medicine left." Boone looked terribly worried. Both of them looked at Shannon, who was wheezing loudly.

"Sawyer must have something. I'll try to get some," Claire said. "You wait here Boone." The moment she wanted to leave, Boone stopped her.

"I'll go," he said. "Sawyer also has my book, so maybe he has the re-fills that were in my suitcase." And he walked away.

The next time Claire saw him, he had bruises on his face. Sawyer did that, she thought, and wondered why he'd do that. Maybe, just maybe, she could help Sawyer and Boone at the same time. She definitely hoped so.

She went to Sawyer's tent. She just had to know, had to help.

"Sawyer, I need help," she said. He looked worried about her.

"Why do ya need help, Blondie?" Okay, he definitely was worried about her.

"It's Shannon. She's barely breathing. You happened to have found Boone's suitcase? There was some medicine in there. Or do you have some medicine?" He sighed, but tried not to do it noticeable, because she was alright.

"Well, I ain't got asthma medicine," he said. "Sorry Mamacita." Claire was disappointed. Just the time someone really needed something, he didn't have it.

"Well, okay then, I'll see if someone else has anything," she said, and wanted to go, but changed her mind. "Why did you beat up Boone?" He looked at her, thinking about telling her, but decided not to.

"Mind your own business," he said, with an angry look on his face.

"Sawyer, just tell me what's wrong," she said. "I'm not going away until you tell me. I don't care if I sit here until I'm 80 years old and hopefully have grandchildren." He smiled at that image. He didn't mind if she'd be here for a while.

"I'm upset cause Boone was going through my stuff." The letter, Claire thought. It was all about the letter. It had to be.

"What's it with the letter, Sawyer?" Sawyer was stunned. He didn't knew she knew about the letter. How would she know?

"It's just something… A boy I knew wrote." Claire knew he wasn't telling the whole story. She saw it.

"Sawyer, it wouldn't mean so much to you if it was just something." He looked at her, wondering how she could read him so well.

"I'll tell you that later, okay?" There was that pain he was always hiding.

The moment she wanted to walk away Jack and Sayid came in. They were looking pretty upset, and they just punched Sawyer and dragged him away. Claire was shocked. How could they do that? And why did they do it?

"Jack, Sayid, what are you doing," she asked. "What has Sawyer done to deserve that?" He could be mean, but punch him and drag him away?

"He has medicine he won't give to us," Jack said. "He's risking Shannon's life." Claire could help Sawyer.

"Jack, he already told me he didn't have it," Claire said. "And he'd tell me if he had something, okay! So let him go!" Jack clearly didn't believe her.

"No Claire, I can't!" Jack and Sayid walked on.

When they were away, Claire cried. They were going to hurt him, hurt the man she loved. She loved? She loved him? Claire wasn't completely sure, but she thought she loved him.

She fell in love with a southern bad boy, who was probably a criminal too. But he also has a soft side, she thought. She noticed that part of him.

Claire just hoped everything was going to be alright.

Chapter 7:

Sawyer woke up. He had a terrible headache. What happened? The last thing he remembered was talking to Claire. And then Jack, Sayid, pain. Dark.

He realized he was in the middle of the jungle, and he was tied to a tree. How did that happen?

Sawyer looked up and saw Jack and Sayid. Sayid had a knife in his hands, and some bamboo. Jack had nothing in his hands and was looking worried. Sayid started talking.

"In my country, we don't have bamboo. But we have something similar. The effect is the same when it is put under the nails." So they were talking about torture. They wanted to torture him. He didn't liked that thought, and apparently neither did Jack.

"It doesn't have to be this way," Jack said. But Sawyer wouldn't give up so easily.

"Yes it does," he answered. Sayid walked to him, in response of that. He kneeled behind Sawyer and grabbed his hands.

He put the bamboo under Sawyer's nails. It hurt pretty bad, but Sawyer just wouldn't give in.

"Is that it? No wonder we kicked your ass in the Gulf…" The pain was so strong, he let out a scream. After that, he thought he heard something, but he didn't knew what. Jack and Sayid were obviously talking, but what they were saying he didn't understand. Sawyer knew they wanted to go on with the torture.

"The only one I'll tell it to, is her…" He saw that Jack and Sayid were wondering who he meant.

"Kate," Jack asked.

"No," Sawyer answered. "Mamacita." Jack and Sayid looked amazed. And Sawyer was too. He was surprised he thought of Claire first. He didn't knew why.

Sawyer woke up again. He must have passed out. But Claire was there now. She had been crying, he saw it. Her eyes were read and puffy. She looked pretty nonetheless. She'll always be beautiful, he thought.

Claire noticed he was awake. He looked terrible though.

"Claire, I don't have it," he said. "You know that right?" She looked at him, on the verge of crying again.

"Of course I know," Claire said crying. "I told Jack. He wouldn't believe me. And he let Sayid torture you. Why would he do such a thing? Can I do anything to help you Sawyer? Anything?" Man, he hated seeing her hurt.

"Please untie my hands Claire." Claire wiped her tears and untied him. He called her Claire, she thought happily.

"There you go Sawyer… James… I mean James." They both smiled.

Sawyer sat down, and pulled Claire down with him. She landed on his lap. Sawyer put his arms around her, trying to comfort her. He didn't knew why, but he wanted her to feel safe with him. Sawyer wiped Claire's tears, telling her that everything was alright. This 'comforting' seemed like the right thing to do, and it felt natural, but it was the first time he ever tried such a thing.

Claire finally felt safe. She knew she loved him, and to judge by the look on his face, she meant something to him too. Claire didn't knew if it was love, but she sure knew there was something.

"Blondie," Sawyer said. She looked at him. "Can I have that kiss now?" Claire laughed through her tears. It was such a thing for him to say.

"Well, let me sleep on it," she said teasingly. "Hmm… Ok then Sawyer. You can kiss me." He smiled, showing his dimples.

He leaned in to kiss her.

They were still kissing when they heard something. And it had to be Jack or Sayid.

"Son-of-a-bitch," Sawyer cursed. "Quick, tie me up again. They won't notice the difference then. I'll protect your reputation." Claire smiled and quickly did as he said.

The moment she was done, Jack and Sayid showed up. Kate was with them.

"So Claire, you know where he hid the medicine?" Jack asked that. Was he that stupid, Claire wondered.

"No Jack. I told you already: he doesn't have it!" Kate believed her, and Jack finally believed her too, but Sayid clearly didn't believe a word she said.

He jumped Sawyer, who had untied himself in the mean time. Good thing she didn't knew how to make a strong knot, she thought. Jack and Kate tried to get them apart, but Claire couldn't do a thing to help. Except…

"Sawyer, stop it! Sayid, get off him!" She really sounded like a mom. But that thought didn't last very long, neither did her joy about the kiss. Sayid stabbed Sawyer in his arm.

There was blood. Everywhere. Jack sent Sayid away to get Jack's bag. Claire just stood there, watching him hurt. It was terrible. Sawyer was playing 'wise guy' and irritating Jack. Kate told him to shut up and lay still.

"Why," Sawyer answered. "Me and Mamacita here already made out. What else to live for?" Jack was so stunned he almost let go of Sawyer's arm. Claire blushed.

"Sawyer, it's incredibly sweet to say that's all you live for. Thanks for that compliment. But now, shut up!" Now Sawyer was stunned. He didn't expect Claire to say such a thing. His jaw dropped. But Sawyer recovered from that soon.

"If the tables were turned, I'd watch you die," he said directly to Jack. And now, Claire really got angry.

"Do you want him to let go of your arm or something? You really have a death wish? Come on, you're not that stupid." Three jaws dropped. Kate, Jack and Sawyer looked at Claire, totally amazed of what she was saying.

And finally, there was Sayid. Jack put a bandage around Sawyer's arm. Claire looked at Sawyer. She was worried. Did she hurt him with the things she said? She hoped not. Claire was worried about making him hurt. Sawyer had been hurt enough in his life, she knew that by instinct. But sometimes he deserved being spoken to like she just did. Sawyer interrupted the silence, that was getting pretty uncomfortable.

"Jack," he asked. "Could you not tell anyone about me and Blondie?" Jack looked at him, while Claire smiled. Sawyer was protecting her reputation again.

"I'm not doing something for nothing," Jack responded.

"Okay, let's make a deal then," Sawyer said. "You ain't gonna tell, cause when you tell, I'll make sure everyone knows what you and Kate were doing this morning." Two jaws dropped. You could just see Jack and Kate thinking: "how would he know that?" Claire was just curious about what Sawyer saw. She was just going to ask, but Jack told already.

"We were just… skinny dipping." Claire saw Kate blushing, and Sayid looking at them in amazement. And she saw Sawyer smiling.

"It's a deal Sawyer," Kate said quickly.

"Good, Freckles. Someone's gonna help me up then?" Jack and Sayid helped him. Sawyer walked to Claire. At least, he tried. But he was tired, and lost a lot of blood. So Claire walked to him.

"Excuse me sir, may I accompany you to your shelter?" Okay, there were the dimples again.

"Alright mamacita," he said, and saw that the other three were already gone. "What is it you want to know?" How did Sawyer know she wanted to ask something, Claire wondered.

"Well… You actually saw them skinny dipping?" Sawyer chuckled.

"No, I caught them in the woods, giggling and being all over each other. Thought they must have done something. So I used that. But what a shame. Bet you wanted to know the dirty details about it. Trust me Beauty Queen, you don't need to know anything about Jack. I'm more then enough for a gal like you." That was Sawyer's way of being jealous. Claire knew, and she chuckled.

"Well, tell me more about you. Cause I don't think I can go skinny dipping with you for a while." She said that to tease him, so she was surprised he responded seriously to that.

"Why not Blondie? Cause that'd be hot!" Oh, that dimples…

"I don't exactly feel hot with a belly like this." He only laughed at that statement.

"I still think you're hot… Come on, let's go!" Sawyer really wanted to go. And Claire wanted to come, just to see him skinny dipping.

Now that's a mental image you want to save in your head, she thought. How could a guy like him stay single, not in a relationship? She knew all of her single female friends would have wanted him. And the ones not single too… Back to the skinny dipping. Just imagine it. Sawyer…

"I assume you're thinking 'bout me naked," Sawyer said. Well, that interrupted her thoughts. Unfortunately…

"Yeah, that's true," she confessed, and blushed.

"At least you have the guts to confess," Sawyer responded, chuckling and looking at her closely.

"You checking me out? You Southern Pervert," Claire joked. Sawyer chuckled again.

"So, are you coming," he asked.

Claire thought about it for a while, then gave her answer.

Chapter 8: Skinny dipping

"Okay, I'm coming," She said. Sawyer grabbed her hand.

"Let's go Mamacita," Sawyer answered.

They walked to a waterfall. It was beautiful, but Claire didn't notice it. She was nervous, really nervous. Who wouldn't be, she thought. Skinny dipping with the hottest guy existing.

Sawyer started to undress already. Claire was getting more nervous by the second. But then she looked at him, and almost forgot to breathe. He was so hot. Then Sawyer looked at her.

"Come on Blondie, join in the fun," he pleaded.

"Well, ok…," she said. He smiled at her.

Skinny dipping was great. At least, that was Claire's opinion after doing that with Sawyer. She pushed him under the water, then tickled him. And guess what? Sawyer was very ticklish in the spot near his knee. Now that was interesting.

"Please Blondie, stop tickling me." Claire laughed.

"Or what," she challenged him. "What will I get when I stop?" She smiled teasingly, while asking that.

"A kiss," Sawyer responded with a smile.

"It's a deal," Claire said.

He leaned in to kiss her, but before he reached her, they heard something.

"Claire, get dressed," Sawyer said. "Someone's coming!" She quickly did so, as Sawyer just kept swimming, still naked. Claire looked at him one last time and then quickly walked in the direction of the caves. Nobody saw her right? Then Claire ran into Jack, who was just looking for her and Sawyer.

"You and the redneck went for a swim," Jack asked, with a smile on his face.

"Sawyer's in the lake," Claire responded. "Geeze, if I knew it was you. I wouldn't have left the water." Jack chuckled.

"Let me guess… Skinny dipping?" Claire blushed, as Jack chuckled again.

"I knew it," he said. "Original…" Now Claire smiled too.

"If you don't mind, I'm going back to the caves," she said. "Gotta go change. If you see Sawyer, tell him I want my reward." And she walked away, leaving Jack, who was thinking about the reward. He had to go ask Sawyer. Jack was really curious, so he walked to the lake.

"Sawyer, how's the water," Jack asked. "Warm enough?" Sawyer looked around, then saw Jack.

"Hey, Dr. Zhivago, where did Blondie go?" Jack chuckled. Yep, Sawyer definitely felt something for Claire. It was easy to see. Sawyer was the one who didn't knew it yet.

"I saw Claire," he said. "She left a message. She's at the caves, changing. And Claire told me to tell you she wanted her reward. Now I'm curious… What reward?" Sawyer chuckled. Blondie was hot, he thought. Definitely. He liked that about her. He liked more things, but…

"Well, she was tickling me, and I asked her to stop. She wanted a reward for that." Jack smiled. So Sawyer was ticklish. No more torture needed. He still felt bad about that, wishing it never happened. Guilt…

"Well, Jackoff… Go to your girl then. Unless you want to go skinny dipping with me," Sawyer said. He over-actively fake-flirted with Jack.

"Is there something you want to tell me Sawyer?" Jack smiled, as Sawyer groaned.

"Very funny Jackass," he said sarcastically. Jack chuckled, as he walked away.

Claire was just done changing when Sawyer walked in her direction, dripping wet.

"Oh no, you won't," she said. "Sawyer, don't. Don't you dare!" He walked to her, lifted her and kissed her in full sight of the whole camp. Everyone was shocked. They were together? Wow! Nobody could believe it.

"Sawyer," Claire said. "I just changed. You're going to pay!" She started tickling him. Revenge, she thought.

"Stop it Claire!" The whole camp just stood there, watching them with jaws dropped.

Chapter 9: Golfing, Secrets and Worries

Claire was happy. She met an amazing man, who she loved. She still didn't knew if he loved her back, but it didn't matter. What did matter, was that irritating feeling she didn't knew him.

Claire didn't knew about his past, his letter he always carried around, she didn't even knew why he was on the plane. She also didn't knew why almost everyone seemed to hate him. Nobody ever let him be a part of the group. Claire wanted to change that. But how?

Then, the object of her thinking came walking in her direction, looking hot as always.

"Well, hiya Blondie. Guess what's going on," he said with a smile on his face.

"Somebody finally burned Charlie's guitar," Claire asked. She hoped her guess was right, cause she couldn't stand one more day of him singing.

"Nope. Lardo built a golf course." Claire laughed, thinking he made a joke.

"You're joking, right?" She couldn't believe he was serious.

"Nope, I'm serious. Apparently, Doc Do-right is playing right now." Okay, so he was serious. Claire really wanted to see that golf course.

"So, Mr. Chippendale, let's go see it then. I bet you'd totally beat Jack. We should do a tournament." She saw him thinking.

"You're not planning on doing anything like that pageant, Claire? We could do something… A women's Golf Tournament." Claire was a bit worried about that idea.

"Sawyer, I never played golf," she said.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you," Sawyer responded.

"You play golf, James?" Claire couldn't believe it.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Mamacita." She believed that. "Come on girlie, let's go." Eager to teach her, interesting.

When they arrived at the golf course, everybody was looking at Jack.

"He'll make it," Charlie said. "I'll bet some dollars on that." A few people agreed, including Boone and Shannon.

"Ten bucks he loses," Sawyer said. "I'll include two bottles of sunscreen." Nobody responded to that.

"Deal," Claire said. Sawyer smiled. She always stood up for him, helped him.

"I'm in too," Boone said.

"But Boone, you just said he'd make it," Shannon said.

"We need the sunscreen, princess," he said.

It didn't even matter if Jack made it or not, Sawyer was finally a part of the group. Claire was happy. Then Sawyer wanted to teach her how to play golf.

"No Sawyer," Claire said. "No way I'm playing golf." Sawyer, of course, tried to convince her.

"Come on Blondie. You'll never get this chance again. Golfing lessons by me, the infamous James F…eh Sawyer." He was hiding something, she thought.

"I'll do it, but I want something in return," she said.

"What," he asked curiously.

"I want to know more about you," she said. The hurt was visible. Claire wanted him to be happy again, not with all of that emotional baggage.

"Only if I can decide what I tell," Sawyer said. Claire knew him, he was trying to get out of it.

"But you have to tell me something," she said. "Something about you I don't know yet." Claire had to know.

"It's a deal Mamacita. Can we play then?" She took his hand. He picked her a golf club.

"Let's see… How do you think it works? How should you stand?" Claire took the club, tried to play, but it really felt stupid. It must have looked stupid too.

"Hold it Blondie," he said, standing behind her with his arms around her. "It's more like this." Claire smiled.

"Now I know why you wanted to teach me," she said teasingly. Sawyer chuckled.

They teed off together, and it looked pretty good. Felt pretty good too, Claire thought. His arms around her felt good. Her stupid big belly was in the way though. She sighed, looking down.

"Don't worry sweetie," Sawyer said. "I can't wait 'til that's gone too. But the smurf will look pretty of course. You're the mommy." That was a hidden compliment, and Claire knew it.

"Thanks James," she whispered, and smiled at him. Everyone who was watching them was stunned. Sawyer was actually behaving normal. Guess he had a good and sweet side after all.

"Come on people," Sawyer said. "Show's over!" A lot of people walked away.

He kissed her. In front of Jack, Kate, Charlie, Boone and Shannon, who were still looking at them. Jack and Kate knew already, but the rest was pretty shocked.

"Move in with me," he said. "Come live with me at the beach." Claire doubted, but then saw 5 people watching them. She motioned for Kate to send them away.

"I don't know Sawyer," she said. "Let's do the get-to-know first." He silently agreed.

That evening, she came to his tent. He let her in, he knew why she was coming.

"What do you want to tell me," Claire asked.

"My name is James Ford," he said. "It's not Sawyer." She looked at him, as if she was testing that name. And it suited him.

"Well, James…," Claire said. "Now you can ask me something." He smiled. She was always playing fair.

"Ok Claire," he said. Claire sighed. She loved it when he said her name. It sounded sexy. "Where's the daddy?" He was asking about Thomas.

"He's out of my life," Claire said. "Was a stupid Jackass." He chuckled, as she smiled at him.

"I'll tell you about… this letter," Sawyer, eh James, said. "It belonged to a little boy. His mommy was romanced by a Conman, who stole his dad's money. Daddy went crazy and shot mommy, then killed himself. The boy wrote this to the Conman." Claire knew this story was about him. About little James Ford.

"How did you live with it, James?" He sighed. She knew.

"You mean after that? I lived here and there. Never staying anywhere long. The longest was with the Johnson's. Lived there for 'bout 6 months. Had a big brother there, named Aaron. Great guy. Always helped me. Never saw him again after those six months." Claire looked at him. She would be there for him, longer then six months. But she was tired, and could barely keep her eyes open.

"James, I'm tired." He saw that, smiled at her.

"I'll help you to the caves." He lifted her, and carried her all the way to the caves. James laid her down there, and kissed her on the forehead.

"Goodnight Claire. We'll talk 'bout the moving in tomorrow." Claire smiled and closed her eyes.

He woke up, thought her heard someone screaming. And it wasn't at the beach. The caves. Claire! He jumped out of his tent and ran to the caves.

There she was, crying and looking upset. Jack was trying to calm her down, and so was Charlie.

"Sawyer, where do you come from," Jack asked.

"The beach," Sawyer answered. "Heard Mamacita scream, so I came this way." Jack was amazed.

"You couldn't have heard that, the beach is too far away," Jack said. But Sawyer was already with Claire, trying to comfort her.

"What is it, sweetheart," he asked.

"Someone was trying to hurt my baby," Claire screamed.

"What," Sawyer screamed. "You alright babe?" Claire burst out in tears. He pulled her in his lap, comforting her. Then Jack came running.

"Ok Claire," he said. "You're in way too much stress. That can be caused by the crash, and everything what happened. So you should take these pills. They're mild, they won't harm the baby." Claire was stunned, and so was Sawyer.

"You're trying to drug me," Claire said. "You think I'm making this up?" Before Jack could say anything she ran away. Sawyer ran after her.

"Claire, where are you going?" He was worried about her, and the baby.

"I'm moving in with you, at the beach," Claire answered. "At least it's safe there." She packed her stuff.

"Okay Blondie," he said. "But let me help you then." He looked at her pleadingly.

"Alright," Claire said. "You can help me James." He smiled and lifted the heaviest bag. They were just walking to the beach when Claire felt a contraction.

"Wait here," Sawyer said. "I'm going to get Jack." He ran away. After a minute he ran into Charlie.

"Sawyer," Charlie said. "What in the bloody hell are you doing here?" If Charlie said 'bloody' one more time, Sawyer was going to punch him.

"Claire is having contractions," Sawyer said. "She's just there, down this path." Charlie ran in that direction, while Sawyer ran in the direction of the caves. Then he saw Ethan.

"Hey, you," he said. "You're that Ethan-guy! Could you get Jack? Claire is having contractions, she's down this path." Ethan ran away. Sawyer caught his breath and ran on.

He finally reached Jack and saw Sayid was back, and he was hurt.

"I don't know if you Islams have a concept of karma…" Jack stopped him.

"What are you doing here," he asked Sawyer.

"Claire," he answered. "She's having contractions." Jack didn't knew what to do, but then Hurley entered their cave.

"I asked everyone," Hurley said. "But one of them wasn't on the manifest. Ethan…" Sawyer was stunned, and mad at himself. How could he send Ethan to Jack? It's a good thing he reached Jack hi… Claire!

"Jackass," Sawyer screamed. "Charlie is with Claire, but Ethan's there too. I'm going in the jungle." Sawyer quickly ran away. Jack was very close behind him.

Then Sawyer was tackled. He looked up. It was Jack.

"Sawyer," he said. "You shouldn't go in the jungle by yourself. It's dangerous." Sawyer groaned as he got up.

"Mind your own business Jackass!" But he didn't ran again. He didn't want to admit it, but Jack was right, it was dangerous. Look what happened to Claire. The best thing that ever happened to him was gone. He didn't knew if he was ever going to see her again.

Jack looked at him and walked Sawyer to his tent. He felt bad for him. They actually kind of became friends. What wouldn't Jack give for some sarcasm, a stupid nickname, or a snappy one-liner! He just hoped Sawyer was going to be alright.


	2. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Searching, Swimming and Suitcases

He ran away from his tent. He couldn't stand it no longer. It was driving him nuts, cause she wasn't around. Someone had to go looking for her. He ran to Jack.

"Jack, why ain't anyone looking for Claire?" Jack saw he was upset and thought it was time to tell him.

"Sawyer, I'm forming a search party already. Boone is coming, and probably Locke and Kate too. We don't need anyone else." Okay, he shouldn't have said that, Jack thought. He saw that Sawyer was getting angrier.

"Son-of-a-bitch! I'm coming! I'm not staying here, sitting on my lazy ass! They're gone! Claire's gone!" His voice broke. He missed her.

"Okay Sawyer, you can come, but we have to leave as soon as possible." Jackass let him come. Good, he thought. Pack my stuff. He ran back to his tent, grabbed his stuff and went back to Jack.

"Rambo, found anything yet," Sawyer asked Locke. They were searching for a while now.

"No James, I haven't fou… Wait a minute." Locke picked something up. It was small. It must have been white once, but it wasn't anymore. It was dirty. Locke showed it to him. It had an 'L' on it.

"Wait a minute, that belonged to the has been." Locke nodded in agreement.

"It's a trail Sawyer," he said. "Someone's leaving us a trail." Locke smiled, and so did Sawyer.

Everything was going ok, until the trail didn't match the tracks anymore. Jack thought they should split up, and Locke disagreed. Jackass got his way.

"Okay, we'll do it like this," Jack said. "Me and Kate will follow this path. Locke, Boone and Sawyer will follow the other one." Sawyer chuckled.

"No way in hell Doc," he said. "I'm coming with you. Don't want you to do something else than searching, right Freckles?" Jack and Kate quickly agreed. They didn't want him to tell about the skinny-dipping.

"Okay," Locke said. "I know you can track Kate, so that won't be a problem." Freckles could track? Okay, that was new to him. But whatever…

They said their goodbyes and split up.

Frustration. That was the word for what he was feeling. They couldn't find anything. And they were searching for a while. Who knows what Ethan could've done by now. Oh Claire, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault. I should've protected you. I send Ethan after you. My fault, it's all my fault.

He saw Jack fall. Jack was on the ground. But there was someone else there. Ethan! Sawyer hid behind some bushes and saw Ethan attack Jack. Sawyer slowly approached Ethan, he tried to be as quiet as possible. He grabbed a rock, silently. He threw the rock at Ethan, hitting him on the head, while Jack was looking around curiously.

Ethan wasn't harmed! How was that possible? Sawyer was sure that the rock hit him, and hard. This wasn't happening. This wa…

He never finished that thought. Ethan noticed him. Well, at least he left Jack alone for now. Jack couldn't fight. He was probably the boy that always got hit. Sawyer was always the one on the other side. He knew how to fight. Another thing Aaron helped him with, defending himself. But he had no time to think now. He had to get Ethan, get him to tell where Claire was.

He punched Ethan in the stomach, and ducked Ethan's punch just in time. Sawyer hit him again, but this time he wasn't fast enough. Ethan was faster. A lot faster. Sawyer got hit. He fell on the jungle floor. It was cold, muddy and rocky.

Ethan was after Jack again. Sawyer slowly got up. That hurts, he thought. Son-of-a-bitch! He jumped Ethan, causing them both to fall. Sawyer was back up first. He put his foot on Ethan's chest. Jack stood next to him.

"Where are they." Sawyer asked. "Where are they, you son-of-a-bitch?" Then Ethan threw them both on the jungle floor. Jack was immediately unconscious, and Ethan came after Sawyer.

"Don't go after them, or I'll kill them." He hit Sawyer in the face. Sawyer tried to get up, and look at where Ethan went, but everything went black.

When he woke up, Kate was there. And she was lecturing Jack. Something about fighting. Then he heard his name.

"What's up with me Freckles," he asked. "I'm okay. Ethan, that son-of-a-bitch, he was here. He caused this." Kate looked at him, and the look on her face said she didn't believe him.

"Sawyer," she said. "Ethan was not here." That was weird. Sawyer saw him, and Jack too. How could he not be here?

"He was here Kate," Jack said. "I saw him too." Kate sighed, still not believing them.

"Do not make up excuses. I know you two were fighting." Jack and Sawyer laughed.

"Kate," Jack said. "Why would I do that? We don't do that, right Sawyer?" Sawyer agreed.

"Yep," he said. "Freckles, believe us. Ethan was here. He said that we shouldn't go after Claire and Charlie, or he would kill them." Kate believed them now, so she helped the guys up and began looking for tracks. They followed the tracks for a while. But then…

There was a very familiar figure, hanging from a tree. It was Charlie.

"Quick," Jack said. "Kate, climb in the tree and cut the rope. Me and Sawyer will lift him." Kate put her bags on the ground and climbed up. It was difficult, but she made it. Then she cut the rope. Charlie almost fell, but Jack and Sawyer managed to slowly lay him down.

Jack tried to rescue him, he really tried. But it was done. Ethan killed Charlie. Sawyer looked at Kate. She was crying, and trying to pull Jack off Charlie.

"Jack," she cried. "Let him go! You can't help him anymore. He's gone. Let go!" She pulled again.

As if it was a miracle, Charlie began to breathe again. Sawyer forgot he was covered in dirt and hugged Kate. When he let go, they both laughed, Kate through her tears.

"Come on," Jack said. "It's getting darker. We have to get him back to camp." They got up, scared but okay.

When they got back to camp, Sawyer went to his tent and read "Watership Down." He had nothing better to do then read 'bout a bunch of bunnies, how pathetic.

He missed her so much. There, he admitted it. He missed Claire. A lot. It was growing worse every second. He couldn't stand the thought she was away. He hoped she was alive and well. And the baby too.

When it got too dark to read, he left his shelter. Kate found him, restlessly wandering the beach.

"We'll find her Sawyer," she said.

"My name is not Sawyer! And if we'll find her, how? Like we found Charlie? Maybe even worse!" Kate looked at him. She couldn't help him, so she left.

Sawyer went back to his tent. He tried to sleep, but every time he tried, he got the same nightmare.

He was in the jungle, all by himself. He was looking for Claire, but he couldn't find her. But then he saw something in a tree. It was Claire. She was dead. Hung, and stabbed. He turned around, not able to look at it. There was Ethan, laughing at him, saying it was "all his fault". And Ethan wouldn't stop.

Then Sawyer would wake up, gasping for air, and sweaty. He didn't get a lot of sleep that night.

When the new day finally started, Sawyer got away from his tent. He had to do something, something to get his mind away from Claire.

He saw Kate in the jungle, so he followed her. It gave him something to do.

Suddenly, a rock hit his knee. That hurts, Sawyer thought. A lot. Geeze, who did that?

"Son-of-a-bitch," he said, walking to Kate. "Me Kate. Me throw rock." Well, his sarcasm was back. But if that was a good thing? Kate didn't knew. She walked with him for a while. She didn't knew where he was heading, but she followed him anyway. Just so he wouldn't do anything stupid, like getting eaten by a polar bear.

Then they arrived at the waterfall. It was beautiful, with a really big lake. Both Sawyer and Kate knew this place already. Skinny-dipping…

"Sawyer," Kate asked. "Why are you here?" He looked sad.

"I haven't told you this, but me and Mamacita went skinny-dipping here a few days ago. Almost busted by the Doc." Kate smiled, thinking of her experience with this lake, as Sawyer began to take his shirt off. When he was done with that, he threw away his shoes and went into the water.

"You're coming Freckles," Sawyer asked. "Gotta soak my soar knee." She smiled, took some clothes off and went in the water. They played in the water for a while, like little kids. Then, they went to a higher point, so they could jump in the water. Sawyer took a dive, while Kate jumped in.

It was all very nice, until they saw the bodies. And the case. Sawyer took the case, thinking there must be something interesting in it, in particular about Kate.

"Sawyer," she said. "You're not just going to use this to get your mind of Claire." He took it anyway.

He got tired of it, tired of playing games for a stupid suitcase. All he wanted was Claire back, unharmed. So he gave the case to Jack when he asked.

Then Boone entered his tent.

"Sawyer," he said. "Can I have my book back?" Sawyer sighed, and gave the book to Boone.

"Thanks Sawyer," Boone said. "But eh, Locke asked me to take you somewhere. You're coming?" Sawyer got up.

"Now you're Rambo's messenger boy? Oh, what the heck, I'll go. I'm bored outta my mind anyway. Tired o' reading 'bout the bunnies." Boone chuckled. The book was dropped off at Boone's place, then they went into the jungle.

They walked for a while, and then found Locke, who was putting some leaves aside.

"Welcome James," Locke said. "I hope you can help me. This…" he revealed a hatch "… is it. I don't know what it is. I was wondering if you know something." Sawyer looked at it closely.

"It's a hatch. But there's no handle." Locke smiled.

"I knew it was the right thing to do, to ask you." Sawyer didn't understand it. He only saw what was obvious. Locke was definitely a weirdo. Sawyer looked at Boone. They shared a knowing look.

"Listen, Indiana Jones, you ain't fooling me. Don't use this to get my mind of Claire. I know that hatch of yours is weird, but that's it." Boone chuckled at the Indiana Jones part.

Sawyer left. That hatch thing wasn't interesting. What was interesting, is figuring out how to get Claire back.

The next time Sawyer saw Boone, he was all upset. Saying stuff about Shannon dying, though Barbie was just flirting with Aladdin.

"Boone," Sawyer said. "Listen to me. What did Locke do to you?" It was just a gut feeling Locke had something to do with it.

"He hit me, tied me up, and put stuff on my head. It must've caused hallucinations." Yep, Locke was definitely a weird guy.

"Boone, just calm down and stay away from Rambo. Let him have his hatch and be done with it." Slowly, bit by bit, Boone calmed down.

"Thanks Sawyer," he said. Boone smiled, and walked to Shannon and Sayid.


	3. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: The Return of the Ki… eh Claire

Sawyer was bored out of his mind. He had nothing to do, except maybe reading his books. Again. He read them a lot of times already. He had to do something. So when chief and Tattoo went searching for Lassie, he volunteered to go with them. Only one bad thing, Rambo was coming too. He'd go anyway, as long as Rambo wasn't nagging about his precious hatch.

"Vincent," Walt screamed, after searching for a while. "Vincent! Come here boy!" The dog didn't show up, so Sawyer thought he'd give it a try.

"Come doggie doggie! C'me here! Come on Lassie, come here!" Then they heard something growling. And it clearly wasn't Vincent. It couldn't be… No, not one of these polar bears! It was kind of funny he responded to Lassie, though. Sawyer chuckled at that thought. But then there was no time, they had to run.

Walt was the only one who couldn't get up the tree. Sawyer searched his pockets. How stupid was he? He hadn't brought his gun with him on this trip. Now he had to watch helplessly while the bear attacked Walt. Locke had a plan, and Michael helped him. They didn't need Sawyer's help. Locke and Michael saved Walt, all by themselves.

Then they just had to look on. Wait, there was something to see, just behind some trees. The closer Sawyer got, the more he realized that it definitely was a person. And a really familiar one too. It couldn't be… It was… It was her… It was Claire!

Sawyer ran in Claire's direction, he was running like a mad man. It felt like he had wings. She was back, and seemed to be unharmed.

"Daddy," Walt asked. "Why is Sawyer acting so crazy?" Michael smiled.

"I think he's in love with miss Claire and he's glad she's back. You sometimes behave really weird when you're in love." Walt looked like he found this disgusting.

"I never want to be in love then," he said. Michael chuckled.

"Just wait till you grow up. I'm sure you'll remember this and thought it was stupid to say this." Walt looked like he didn't believed that, and Michael smiled.

Sawyer reached Claire. He smiled at her. He was so happy that she was back. He felt… He felt… What was the right word? He felt complete.

"There's the pregnant princess! I missed you so much Claire!" He was so happy! She was back, and alright! He never had been happier then this, he thought. Then she looked at him, with a weird look. Claire never looked at him like that. She never looked at anyone like that. Then another weird thing happened. She screamed and then fainted. Sawyer lifted her and brought her to Jack. There must be something wrong with her, he thought.

Sawyer brought unconscious Claire to the medical cave. Jack was stunned when he saw her. He didn't expect this to happen, but he was glad she was back.

"What happened Sawyer, what happened to her?" Jack had to know, he could use it for his medical treatment. Being given wrong information could be fatal.

"I just spoke to her, and then she screamed and fainted. It was all very weird." Jack looked at Sawyer, who shrugged his shoulders.

"You didn't say something scary," Jack asked.

"If saying I missed her is scary," Sawyer responded. Jack smiled. Nope, that wasn't scary at all he thought. Sawyer had been very sweet, and that was rare.

But then Claire woke up. She looked around, saw the caves, the people. They were all looking at her. She looked scared when she screamed: "Who are you?" Oh my god…

Sawyer was shocked. She didn't knew them anymore? She didn't knew him anymore? This wasn't happening! She was the best thing that ever happened to him…

"Claire," Jack asked. "What's the last thing you remember?" A pretty smart question to ask, Sawyer thought. He hated to admit it, but it was smart of Jack to do that.

"I got on a plane, to Los Angeles," Claire said, slowly. She was still a bit scared of these strangers, who were all still looking at her.

"Listen to me Claire," Jack said. "That plane crashed, on this island. We're all survivors of the crash. We've been here for a while now. You were kidnapped, by a guy named Ethan. Charlie here…" he pointed at Charlie "… was with you then. Ethan almost killed him, but he was saved. And now you're back. Tell me, do you remember anything about that?" Sawyer looked at Claire, who was still afraid. He wanted to go to her, and calm her down, but he couldn't, because she forgot about him. He didn't want her to scream at him again. He wanted her to remember him, but that wasn't possible. Sawyer wanted to walk away, but then Claire spoke again, so he stayed.

"I don't remember. I only remember a name, Aaron. Somebody here named Aaron?" Sawyer thought about it for a while, then spoke to Claire, explaining it.

"Nobody here is named Aaron. But somebody told you 'bout Aaron." You could see that Claire was thinking about that.

"I don't remember that. I'm sorry, Mr..?" She didn't even remember his name. He felt terrible.

"Mr. Sawyer," he said, with a sad look on his face.

"You seem more of a James to me," she said, innocently. Sawyer looked at her in amazement. She remembered his name?

"How did you know that?" She knew, she knew…

"I didn't knew." She didn't knew… He left, feeling terrible.

After reading for a while, he got out of his tent. Heard stories about Ethan threatening Charlie, to kill all of them if he wouldn't get Claire. That Ethan had to stop! Jack and Locke clearly thought the same, cause they were setting up booby-traps. And some guys volunteered for a watch. Sawyer did that too. Anything to protect Claire and the baby.

Nothing happened on his watch, he didn't see anything. But when he woke up the next morning, Scott or Steve was dead. He didn't even knew which one. This madness had to stop, he thought. So he went to Jack and Locke, who were discussing another plan, using Claire as the bait. Charlie was protesting, he thought it was too dangerous. Then Claire entered, and agreed to the plan. The plan was to keep four people with a gun hidden in the area, so they could capture Ethan. Sawyer immediately volunteered for a gun.

"Do you know how to shoot a gun," Jack asked him, and Sawyer was seriously thinking about punching him. Then he had a much better idea.

"Well, there's one polar bear who seems to think so," he said, with a big smile on his face. Jack chuckled, and gave him the pistol. Kate came along, also wanting a gun, but Jack gave every gun away already. So Sawyer gave Kate one he had in his tent.

"Where did you get the gun," Jack asked.

"Got it off one of the bodies, back in the old days. The marshal, remember him," Sawyer asked teasingly. But this time, Jack had a response.

"Yeah, I remember him. You shot him, and missed." Ouch! That was nasty Jackass, Sawyer thought. Then he smiled at Jack, showing they were even.

Then it was time. The armed men and Kate hid in the spots that were picked, and Claire was wandering around there, all alone, waiting for the bad guy to show up. Angst was in the air, when Ethan showed up.

Claire ran away screaming, with Ethan just a few feet behind her. It was terrible for Sawyer to watch. Then Jack jumped Ethan, causing his pistol to fall, sliding over the jungle floor, while they were still fighting. Then finally, Jack was out of the way. Sawyer pointed his pistol at Ethan, who was trying to get away.

"Uh uh uh, Jungle boy," he said, with his hair dripping wet from the rain. Sawyer knew he shouldn't shoot Ethan, because Ethan could give them information, but he was definitely tempted to do so. He really wanted to pull that trigger, just so Claire would be safe again. He wanted her to be safe.

Then four shots. All bullets ended up in Ethan's chest. Sawyer looked at his gun, checking if he didn't fire it. He didn't, it wasn't him. Then who was it?

It was Charlie. He grabbed Jack's gun, and shot Ethan with it. Sawyer was mad at Charlie, for two reasons. One: because they couldn't get information from Ethan now. Two: if someone was shooting that son-of-a-bitch, Sawyer wanted to be that man. Stupid, stupid has been! Stupid Charlie! Sawyer wanted to protect Claire, to be there for her. But he guessed she didn't need him when she had Charlie. Sawyer walked away.


	4. Memories, Making out and I never

Chapter 12: Memories, Making out, and of course I Never

He missed her. He hated to admit it, but he missed her. That's why he kept reminding himself she didn't want him, that she had the has been already. But it didn't work. He thought about her a lot; he couldn't forget her. He was always thinking about her, about her eyes, her smile, the way they kissed… Always about her, always!

So when a boar was in his tent at night, it finally caused him a good distraction. He had to chase that boar, he thought. It would keep him away from her, from camp for a while. It would give him some time to think. He needed that.

He got his stuff ready, all the things he thought you should need when tracking boar. The hell would he know, he never did anything like it before.

She woke up, from the weirdest dream she ever had. It was about skinny dipping, a striptease and a man tied to a tree. It didn't fit together at all. Was she delusional? Was she in shock? Maybe she just had to ask someone. Cause it wasn't just the dream. She dreamed about guys in swimsuit. One guy more then the rest, but that didn't matter for now. There were songs stuck in her head, it was all very weird. She didn't knew what to do.

Claire couldn't just ask Jack. He'd try to drug her again. Wait a minute, where did that came from? Jack tried to drug her? This meant her memory was coming back, and she didn't knew if she liked that. The memories about someone tied to a tree, and Jack trying to drug her weren't exactly things that she wanted to remember.

And about that striptease and the skinny dipping. She didn't remember the face of the person, just the body. What a body… She couldn't exactly ask around for the guys to strip trying to match it to her memories. Would be fun to watch though. At least, from some guys… That Sawyer guy would definitely be hot naked. She shouldn't think that, she had to do something about her dreams. She had to find out what was wrong with her.

He couldn't find the stupid bear. And that caused his mind to slip to Claire. Sawyer didn't want that; he had to forget her. She had Charlie; she didn't need him. Then why couldn't he just forget about her? He couldn't get her out of his head. But he had to. So when Kate joined his hunt, he thought he'd flirt with her a bit. But every single time he tried something, it felt like he betrayed Claire. He couldn't do it no more. Sawyer had to go back to tell her everything.

Then Kate found tracks of a bear. Sawyer had to decide what was most important: getting that bear back, or getting Claire back. That decision was easily made: Claire was always first. So he ran back, back to camp. He left Kate in the jungle, staring at him.

In the meantime, Claire finally got everyone together on the beach. She was about to do the stupidest thing she had ever done. Claire just wanted to know if anyone remembered anything about the skinny-dipping. So she decided to get everyone together, so she didn't have to go searching for everyone. She sighed one last time, then cleared her throat.

"Can I have your attention," she said. "For starters, I'd like to say how sorry I am that I don't remember anyone of you. I'm sorry if that hurt anyone. Then second, I've been having these weird dreams, with memories in them. So I was wondering, does anybody know anything about skinny-dipping?"

Every single person looked at her like she was crazy. Claire blushed. She felt really stupid. She saw Jack motioning for her. Claire didn't knew what he was trying to say, so she waited until someone said something.

Sawyer arrived at the beach just in time to hear her question about the skinny-dipping. He knew Claire was making a fool of herself, but he was glad she remembered the skinny-dipping. He had to solve this situation without everyone knowing about it.

"I can't believe you actually did it," Sawyer said to Claire. "I thought you wouldn't dare… I'm sorry everyone. That second question was a bet between Blondie and myself. I'm sorry if it offended anyone… Come on Blondie, you'll get your reward." He lifted Claire and walked to a private spot with her.

Claire was confused. What was Sawyer/James talking about? She didn't knew anything about a bet. But maybe he knew something about her dreams.

"I was the one you were skinny-dipping with," he said. "If you want proof, just say so." He smiled at her. She touched his dimples and smiled back at him.

"I remember your dimples," Claire said. "I remember your smile. I remember your kiss." She kissed him, trying to refresh her memory. Someone cleared his or her throat. They stopped kissing, and looked around.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," Jack said, smiling at how happy the couple looked.

"I was trying to get some booty Jackass," Sawyer responded.

Claire's jaw dropped. Then she smiled. Typical Sawyer to make such a comment, she thought. But how would she know that? It meant her memory was coming back. At least, the parts about Sawyer were coming back to her.

"I just wanted to say that was a good save Cowboy," Jack said, and turned around. Sawyer chuckled, then turned to Claire again.

"Now where were we," he said. Sawyer winked at Claire. But just when he leaned in to kiss her once more, there was someone there. Again…

"Hello James, Claire," Locke said. "I'm glad you two are okay. I wanted to ask you something James, but let's not do that now." And he left again.

"I hate interruptions," Claire said. "Let's go to some spot more private." She grabbed Sawyer's hand, and together they went to Sawyer's tent.

When they arrived there, Sawyer pulled Claire in his arms and hugged her. That felt so good, he thought. He really missed her. He should tell her that.

"I really missed you," he said, almost whispering. "I'm so glad back." He smiled at her, and she smiled back at him.

"I'm glad to be back too," Claire said. Sawyer hugged her once more. Then he thought of something, something he wanted to do.

"Let's play a game," he said. "I never. You know it?" He wanted to get to know her better. They wouldn't use alcohol, cause Claire was pregnant.

"I know it," she said. "You'll drink the alcohol, I'll drink the water." She sat down, while Sawyer got the drinks. They smiled at each other.

"I'll start," Sawyer said. "I've never been pregnant." Claire laughed, and so did Sawyer. Claire took a sip of water, almost choking in it because she was laughing so hard. After she coughed, everything seemed to be alright.

"Really? I didn't expect that, she said teasingly. "I never left my home country before." Sawyer looked at her, and drank his alcohol. He was going to get a bit drunk. But her 'I never' was really stupid. He had much better things to say.

"You suck at this," he said, with a wink. "I never kissed a man." She smiled, and drank.

"Really," she asked. "I never wore pink."

Okay, so she was good at this. She probably just decided to do a stupid one first. And now he had to admit it. There it goes, he thought, and drank. Claire's jaw dropped.

"The 80ies," he said. "Would have thought you'd wear pink though… I never wore a thong." He waited, then chuckled as she drank. Good, that was interesting.

"Pervert," she responded. "I never had a one night stand."

She never had a one night stand? He had a lot of them. Tons of them. So he started to drink, and not just one sip. He drank a lot, and saw Claire's jaw drop.

"Gotta drink for each one," Sawyer said.

"You're a pig," Claire said with a wink.

She already thought that of him, and Sawyer knew it, so he smiled. They both knew Claire didn't mean that. Just fooling around…

"I never been in love before I got here." Claire looked at him in amazement, then drank.

"You're kidding," she said, then continued. "I never loved someone as much as now."

She loved him? More than she loved anyone else? A miracle happened to Sawyer. This beautiful women, who he honestly didn't deserved, fell in love with him. And he fell in love with her too. He realized it just before this game, when she was gone.

Sawyer and Claire looked at one another. Sawyer forgot about the game and kissed Claire. He was finally happy again. She completed him. He was in love with Claire.


End file.
